Endings & Beginnings

“When one door closes, another opens.”  That’s a saying I’ve never thought much about previously.  It always seemed like one of those things people tell themselves to cope with lost opportunities.  I’ve always been of the opinion that a closed door is just a closed door. 

Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’ve been so closed off to possibilities lately.  For months before I made the decision to leave Key West, I felt like I was just going through the motions, half asleep.  One day was much like any other.  I got up early in the morning (generally before the sun was even up), showered, went to work, worked for a minimum of 11 hours, and then went home.  Once at home I would either put on a movie or play video games.  Occasionally, I would go to a book club meeting, but more often than not, I spent the evening in solitude.  On Fridays, I would go to happy hour, have 2 – 3 beers, and then go home alone.  On Saturdays, I would drive to Big Pine Key for my martial arts class (which was often my only activity for the week), and then on Sundays, I would go back into the office for a bit.  Then, the whole cycle would start over once again.  This was my circle of life, endless days on repeat, without much to show for any individual one.  Entire months ran into each other, and I found myself staring at the end of the year without anything really substantive to show for it.  It started to seem like not much of a life.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a bad life.  It was definitely comfortable, but maybe it was a little too comfortable.  There wasn’t much uncertainty in that life.  It was predictable and a little boring.  

Yes, I had friends.  Great friends actually, who were there for me.  We’ve had some great times together, which I will treasure.  When these friends read this blog, I don’t want them to think that I didn’t value them.  I did, I do, and I will continue to value them.  The outpouring of support I've received after making the decision to leave has been incredible and humbling.  Thank you all.   

Back to my original thought though, the saying about opening and closing doors is really one about balance.  To me, it means that you have to give up something in order to gain what you want.  Put in other words, everything has a price.  You can take what you want, but you'll have to pay for it one way or another.

For me, the price I'm paying is my comfortable little life here in the Keys.  I'm giving up job, home, and friends.  I'm throwing away certainty to venture into the unknown.

And I couldn't be more excited.